(778) 743-1277
Have you ever had an idea that sits there, in the back of your mind? But you never take action on it? You never check it off the list? These could be big life event things or small consistent nourishing things. And you just let them linger there, in specific corners of your mind.
I call these open loops.
And frankly you may agree with me that they… are… exhausting.
They require that your unconscious mind spend precious, vital resources to keep those ideas alive inside… even though … in a way… you’re letting them die.
During the first summer of Covid when the only people I could see were the trees in my local provincial park (after they reopened that is), I spent many hours exploring my way through a series of parks and neighbourhoods, often Tonia-deep in salal or ferns.
I was convinced that there was a way to get from my house, to a local beach through the woods.
Eventually after many failed attempts and with the help of some “random coincidences” I unearthed my route.
I was like Nancy Drew in the Forest of Secrets, that summer.
Sometimes I would stumble across some subtle, helpful clues like this:
And This:
At some point that summer I realized something magical about taking photos.The precise location that the photo was taken at could be put on a map on my phone.
I started to learn where I’d been and could see where I was trying to get to.
Sometimes I had hints from neighbours, “You know there’s that path that connects those two roads right?”
Hmmm……. You don’t say?
Once, incredibly, I asked an app to chuck me out a random GPS coordinate… this is no joke.
While the first two sets it gave me were in the middle of two different private fields, I hit the jackpot with the third set or coordinates. It turned out to be the trailhead to #7 below, the last leg of the journey that I needed to piece it all together.
The entire route is 6.5 km and takes me 75 minutes or so.
It has 7 sections:
a road in a rural neighbourhood
a little private path
a park owned by one municipality
a provincial park
another park owned by a different municipality
another rural road
then a private path owned by a local resort.
It took me about 6 weeks to figure out how all these sections were connected.
Here are some of the gorgeous things I came across that summer:
In a way, this post isn’t actually about this story. I mean there are many metaphors that one might glean including finding your path, perseverance, the benefit of having goals, and being resourceful AF.
Buuuuuuut… I’m really sharing this story because of one of the pictures I took that summer, and this brings us back to how I opened up this article.
This is the picture I’m talking about:
Now, It’s hard to find a nice sunset spot where I live because I reside on the East Coast of a large island.
I know you know that East means sunrise. West means sunset.
I could travel 4 hours to catch the sunset on the West most coast of this island.
But as I’m sure you can imagine that’s not the most practical day to day experience.
So… I had this feeling when I found this little bluff overlooking a clear cut area that it would be a lovely place to see a summer sunset.
And then did nothing with that loop for 3 years. It remained open, taking up unconscious energy and resources in my mind. Here’s what I mean.
Everytime (2-3 x per week) I would pass the little path leading to those bluffs I would think, “Oh! It would be such a nice spot to catch a summer sunset.”
And then would do nothing about it again. And again. Two to three times per week for three years. At least 390 times I had that thought and did nothing about it.
Until THIS week.
My husband and I went out in the evening to run an errand. And as we were driving back, I noticed the time of day. It was 8:30 or so. I told him I was going to drop him off and drive on our rural road to the start of that first path (#2 in the list above).
He parked in our driveway, we both got out of the car and kissed each other goodnight.
I got into the driver's seat - the driver's seat of closing this open loop ;).
I drove #1
I walked #2 and #3
I walked part of #4 until I got to the little trailhead to the bluffs.
And when I got up there, it was like the sun saw me coming and ducked down behind the horizon line as if he was hiding from me.. It was 8:45 and I juuuuuust missed it.
Okay. At least now I had some information:
I had to get there earlier.
Now I knew exactly what I needed to do. More importantly I knew exactly WHEN I needed to do it.
So… two days later I made a plan for when it worked out in my evening schedule.
I set out at 8 pm.
My husband asked, “What time is the sunset?”
I checked my weather app, “9:15”
“Oh! You’re going early.”
“Well… it’ll be going down earlier from the bluffs. And I got to get there. I don’t want to miss it.”
I mean… I had after all been missing it for 3 years.
Off I went.
I drove #1
Walked #2 and #3
Walked part of #4 until I got to the little trailhead to the bluffs.
And this time I enjoyed a lovely evening, doing some journaling, some stretching, and just some sungazing. Here’s a lil video:
I could check it off the list. Put the part of me that tried to remind me about this 390 times to bed.
I’ll go back there.
Now that I know, the hows and the whens.
Importantly I know that I’ve regained real-e-state in my nervous system, now that I’m no longer wondering. (Funnily Google Docs wanted me to correct that to wandering… 😂😂sure)!!
So what’s the point of this story?
What open loops are taking up space and energy in your unconscious mind?
What’s on your (bucket) list?
Things you want to begin?
Things you want to end?
How long have you been letting those things sit there?
Are you taking (any) steps to make those things happen in your life?
Maybe it’s a new lifestyle habit that you know will help you reach a specific health outcome.
Maybe it’s getting help for that new habit. 😉😉
Maybe it’s wanting to change how you are in your relationships, how you’re triggered, how you heal.
Maybe it’s an adventure you’re biting to have.
A class you want to take.
Something you want to learn.
A book you want to write.
When we have these things that we want to be doing, and we’re not doing them, it’s often because we’re waiting for more clarity, so we can have the confidence that it’s the right thing to do.
We’re waiting for more information. We’re waiting for a feeling. We’re waiting for the time to be right.
The truth is… I never would have gotten to see that beautiful sunset if I hadn’t made a commitment to
JUST
DO
THE
DARN
THING
My sunset chasing story is just a small example, but I’m hoping that you’re seeing how it's a relevant lesson to the big things in your life that you want to accomplish. Or put to bed.
Internet personality, Marie Forleo always says, “Clarity comes from ENGAGEMENT not thought.”
Even if it’s not the right step, because it doesn’t get you want, at least now you know.
Now you know what next step you’ll need to take.
And by this logic, every step is the right step, as long as you’re paying attention to the feedback that you’re getting when you take that step.
My first attempt at catching the summer sunset - my timing was off.
But then I knew how (and when) I needed to adjust my strategy so I could catch it.
And it worked like a charm.
Sign up for the class. Go to the first one. Like it? Great. Go to the 2nd one.
Sign up for the class. Go to the first one. Don’t like it? Great. Find a different one.
Start the habit. Uncomfortable? Yeah. It’s going to be uncomfortable at first. You’re practicing a new way of being that is out of your comfort zone. Eventually as that practice is habitualized, and you start to get the results that you’ve been wanting for so long you’ll move into comfort with it.
Set the boundary. It’s probably going to be easier than you think, than you’ve built it up in your mind. People respond well to honesty.
And yes… I’m all about divine timing. And… I’m also wondering if there’s a place where we can all be a little more proactive when it comes to getting what we want.
Take another step. Get feedback. Get learnings. Course correct if need be.
Like sunrises and sunsets. Find the rhythm in thought, action, feedback, new thought, new action, new feedback.
You see what I’m getting at?
Just.
Get.
Going.
Your loops will remain open otherwise, and will remain an energy drain on your nervous system.
I mean… what are the consequences if you don’t?
Obviously there is no massive consequence to not catching a summer sunset.
Other than I kept breaking a promise to myself.
But what about more serious things, like getting hydrated, nourishing yourself with healthy, low-reactive food, moving your body effectively, sleeping deeply, pursuing your dreams, expressing your love or disgust or truth.
In some cases not making changes, keeping these open loops as a someday thing, could be harmful and dangerous to you and your well-being.
And what about regret?
A 57 year old friend of mine told me he wanted to start learning to play piano.
“Cool!” I said (the ever cheerleader… people doing what they love makes me happy).
“Buuuuuut… if I start now, it’s going to be 5 years of practice before I’m any good, so by then I’ll be 62.”
“Truth. And whether you start now or not, you’ll still be 62.” 😲🤯
You get me.
I’ll “rap” up there with that 🎤drop.
I'm letting you know I'm here to help.
There are two simple ways to work together.
Or to be entirely meta and that one of your open loops is to have me guide you through a brain-based coaching transformation breakthrough (you've been thinking about it for a while?
This is where you’ll release the painful imprints of the past (closing open trauma loops) and go back into healing mode, easily able to create new habits and positive results in your health and life, then book a discovery call with me or my team.
We’ll spend 30 minutes helping you get very clear on what loops you’re wanting to close and where you’re wanting to go. If it’s a match I might invite you to enroll in a breakthrough and I’ll provide the easiest way to do that when we chat.
I very much look forward to connecting and in the meantime...
🧠💗💫May you choose to make all your dreams come true!
My clients are people stuck in their health or lives with burnout, insomnia , anxiety, or stress. After working with me they can calm their minds, sleep deeply, and find joy and energy again - all with out talk therapy or medications.
FOR SUPPORT ISSUES OR QUESTIONS, PLEASE EMAIL: vitality@toniawinchester.com
Copyright @2022 · Tonia Winchester · All Rights Reserved
This site is not a part of the Facebook website or Facebook Inc. Additionally, this site is NOT endorsed by Facebook in any way. FACEBOOK is a trademark of FACEBOOK, Inc.