"He rattled back to me everything that I had been lying to myself about, afraid to show to anybody - essentially some truths about myself that I was refusing to acknowledge and take responsibility for." - Dr. Tonia Winchester

What if that one bad, problematic behavior of yours was gone? You know the one. That thing you do—a habit, a practice, a behavior—that you know isn't great.

It's something you kind of wish you didn't do. Maybe you feel a lot of shame around it and do your best to hide it from the people around you.

You certainly don't want to talk about it. You might have a lot of guilt because you know it's not good, and each time you do it, you promise you'll never do it again. But of course, you do it again and fall into the same cycle and loop of feeling terrible and making promises.

Maybe this habit affects your health or well-being in some way. Maybe it's a vice of some kind. Whatever it is, it's causing discomfort or disruption in your life. Now imagine that one day that habit, behavior, or practice was just gone.

In this episode, I speak very candidly and personally about something that has changed in my habits.

There was a particular behavior that wasn't great, helpful, or productive, and in fact hindered my progress in a lot of ways.

And now it's gone.

I share what it was, why it's gone, and how you too can help these types of habits disappear. With all of that being said, let's just get into this. Let's get wondering.

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For an approximate transcript of this episode scroll to the bottom of this post.

SHOW NOTES:

• BOOK: Thinking Kindly: 7 Steps to Stop Self Criticism and Turn Negative Thoughts into Positive ones

• PODCAST: EPISODE 3 - How My Body Finally Decided to Lose Weight

• SHIFT SESSION

Thank you so much for being here and tuning in.

🧠💗💫May you choose to make all your dreams come true!

Dr. Coach Tonia Winchester, ND, NLP

APPROXIMATE TRANSCRIPT:

Hey there, and welcome back to another episode of the Wonder With Me podcast. I'm your host, Dr. or Coach Tonia Winchester, and this is episode 40. What if that one bad thing was gone? In this episode, I'm going to speak very candidly and personally about a habit that I recently changed. There was a particular behavior that wasn't great, helpful, or productive, and it actually hindered my progress in many ways. And now it's gone. I'll talk about what it was, why it's gone, and how you too can help these types of habits disappear. So with all that being said, let's just get into this. Let's get wondering.

So imagine if you will that there's something you do—a habit, a practice, a behavior—that you know isn't great. It's something you kind of wish you didn't do. Maybe you feel a lot of shame around it and don't want to talk about it with people. Maybe you have a lot of guilt because you know it's not good, and when you do it, you promise you'll never do it again. But of course, you do it again and go into the same cycle of feeling terrible and promising you'll never do it again.

Maybe this habit affects your health or well-being in some way. Maybe it's a vice of some kind, but whatever it is, to any degree it's causing discomfort or disruption in your life. Now imagine that one day that habit was just gone—not because you forced it away or ignored it while it lingered—but actually gone. What would be different for you?

I'm curious about this because recently I relinquished an old, unproductive habit just like that. I'm so excited about how easy it was—how it involved no willpower whatsoever—and how I literally just woke up one day and realized I hadn't done that thing for weeks.

I'm going to start in the middle of the story. In June 2024, I took a new therapeutic clinical training program where I learned a neat modality for helping people who feel stuck in any area of their life—whether they feel like they're hitting their head against a brick wall, stuck in a ditch or pit, circling the drain without making traction, or at a crossroads unsure which path to take.

Historically in my career path, I often sign up for new training without having any personal experience with that thing as a patient or client. This was true for naturopathic medicine—I had never seen a naturopathic doctor before attending naturopathic college. The same goes for my body energy healing tool called BodyTalk and becoming an NLP master practitioner.

This new communication-based work I'm describing here today is no different. Yes, I know I'm being very Quentin Tarantino as I tell this story.

I found myself in this particular training program after discovering a PDF while cleaning out my checkout later file on my desktop—the place where I dump things I don't want to look at right now. The name intrigued me, so I read the PDF and thought this might be what I've been missing in my life and practice.

I immediately went online to find out more and discovered live training being offered every day in June from 6 to 8 AM (the teacher was in the UK). So naturally, I signed up right away.

Here I am in this class in June without really knowing what to expect. This work is content-free—which means as the practitioner, I don't need to know what the problem state is to help people with it—very refreshing for both parties.

In the first class, the teacher asked for a demo subject—someone he hadn't worked with before—and I put up my hand. He didn't know or ask what problem I brought forth but went through his process anyway.

What happened next was mind-blowing. He asked me specific questions about my internal experience and rattled back everything I'd been lying to myself about—truths I'd been refusing to acknowledge.

Each class brought more shifts inside me as he used language my conscious mind could understand while addressing truths my unconscious mind had been holding onto for decades around this issue.

This integration led to changes happening at a microscopic level until they became overtly noticeable—like turning up the volume on a stereo until you finally hear the song clearly.

One day during training, I realized my problematic spending habit was just gone without effort or willpower—it simply disappeared.

The cool thing about this habit was identifying exactly when it last happened because it involved spending too much money on clothes—even exceeding available funds by debting for new clothes under enticing excuses like needing new outfits after losing weight.

I hid this behavior from others but realized mid-June that since May 14th (one month sober), I'd stopped without trying or intending consciously—just gone!

Talking with a mentor about replacing the behavior revealed no void inside—I felt quite full instead on all levels: literally, metaphorically & figuratively!

This teacher never gave advice nor told me what values should change—instead feeding back truths ignored long enough until poof—the habit disappeared!

Testing scenarios where old behaviors would've occurred showed no interest anymore—whether visiting websites/stores/vacation shopping trips—all lacked previous neurobiological agitation/dopamine pending charges!

At the time of this podcast release, marks three months sober from spending habits without support groups/steps/etc.—just internal cohesion/integration from being demo subject alone!

Sharing experiences publicly exemplifies my healing process internally and external the behavior has shifted too!

If similar issues affect your life (spending/weed/drinking/gambling/scrolling/binging/etc.), consider reaching out for a Shift session (75 minutes) at coach.tonyawinchester.com/shift