"You can put something down and take more than one trip. It's okay. You're still good. You're still valuable. You're still important and you still matter." - Dr. Tonia Winchester

If you’re anything like me… I’m wondering if at times, you might have the tendency to carry too much?

This is for my busy folk, the over-doers, the over-carriers, the over-pleasers, the overwhelmed.

It's for the people with schedules that could make a monkey dizzy and probably do make monkeys dizzy. It's for those of us who do too much.

My husband and I have been having a similar conversation for about 16 years about how I tend to do something very specific too much and too often.

I talk about what that means for you potentially in your own life and how we can do things differently in this.

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SHOW NOTES

• EPISODE ⁠35 - Helpful Thoughts And How To Have Them⁠

• EPISODE ⁠28 - Why Stress Makes Us Sick⁠

• SONG: Ingrid Michaelson: ⁠Overboard⁠

• SONG: Red Hot Chili Peppers: ⁠Cabron

• BOOK: Thinking Kindly: 7 Steps to Stop Self Criticism and Turn Negative Thoughts into Positive ones

Thank you so much for being here and tuning in.

🧠💗💫May you choose to make all your dreams come true!

Dr. Coach Tonia Winchester, ND, NLP

APPROXIMATE TRANSCRIPT (AI generated summary)

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Wonder With Me podcast. This is episode number 42: You Don't Have to Carry It All. I'm your hostess, Dr. and/or Coach Tonia Winchester. This episode is for my busy folk, the overdoers, the over-carriers, the over-pleasers, the over-busiers. Did I say that one already? The overwhelmed. It's for the people with schedules that could make a monkey dizzy and probably do make monkeys dizzy. It's for those of us who do too much.

In this episode, I'm going to share with you a very common and frequent conversation that I have with my husband about how I tend to do something very specific too much and too often. And I'll talk about what that means for you potentially in your own life and how we can do things differently. So with all of that being said, let's get into it. Let's get wondering.

Find the link around this video to track back to the blog post that has this podcast embedded in it and the picture that I'm about to describe. The link will be conveniently in the show notes for you.

So I'm standing there in my backyard holding a hanger, a pair of shoes, a coat, and what looks to be a pencil case—all in one hand, by the way. I'm wearing heels. In the other hand, I'm carrying the adorable little water bottle caddy that my husband made me out of wood. It has a hairbrush in it. I'm carrying my lunch bag, my medical supplies and equipment bag, and also my computer bag.

Inevitably, my husband sees this and says, after grabbing his camera, Honey, why don't you take more than one trip? I've just arrived home after a long day seeing patients and doing a public presentation, and I want the day to be done. So I bring everything out from the car all at once, burdening my body just to get it done. I don't know if I'm being stubborn or something else that means exactly the same thing, but it feels like more effort to take two trips than to take it all at once.

We're making these types of decisions all the time in an unconscious way where we're weighing the costs and benefits of our choices. Sometimes this happens consciously, but most commonly it's happening under the surface, below our awareness.

Here's what I mean: If your body has a finite amount of energy based on its fuel and rest levels at any given moment, then unconsciously it's choosing where to divert that energy—whether it goes to digestion, healing, or managing stress you're exposed to. You don't make these decisions consciously; it's happening in your body-mind's intelligence because it likes to choose the path of least resistance.

If you've ever tried learning a new skill as an adult, you know it takes tremendous effort and practice. I'm learning Spanish right now with Duolingo—I'm at a 550-day streak—and I still have to put my mind to it every day consciously. It might be years before I can think and speak fluently in Spanish.

Interestingly enough, when I try thinking in Spanish, I default to French because I was exposed to French at a young age through kindergarten French immersion. It's more deeply ingrained and comfortable neurologically—less effort is required.

Coming back to me carrying all those things: In my mind, it's more efficient to do it all at once than to take two trips or carry separate items one time each.

So what do we make of all this? Part of me wants to be this fierce independent firecracker who can do it all by herself. I often attach myself to specific lyrics or quotes as little mantras or pep talks—for example, Ingrid Michelson's song Overboard where she sings about her independence but also admits sometimes wanting help.

And yet when I carry too much or rush too much, I inevitably drop things or break things—both literally and metaphorically. Is something similar true for you? Where are you doing too much? Where is your perceived efficiency actually creating inefficiencies? Where are you getting drained instead of revitalized by your efforts? Where could you take more than one trip instead of trying to do it all at once?

I've been having this conversation with my husband for years—we've been together for 16 years—and I'm finally considering applying this advice in real life: taking more than one trip.

Right now I'm applying this concept in my list of goals—I have 14 active goals which is too many trips at once—but I've organized them on a timeline so each month has its own set of goals that build on each other.

By focusing on one or two goals per month—typically health/wellness goals along with creative output and money goals—I'm actually getting things done! It's more efficient doing less better than trying everything at once.

So where can you refine? Where can you prioritize? Where can you focus deeply on something you're working towards?

This could apply day-to-day or even long-term goals months or years out. Crafting discipline for one thing at a time is an act of self-care—a lesson learned from years of go-go-go mode where value was tied up in productivity.

Coming home from work burdened with everything at once stems from needing quick recognition—but here’s real talk: My husband’s simple advice gives permission not just practically but emotionally—to put down burdensome habits ingrained since youth chasing commendation through overdoing everything.

Let this podcast grant similar permission: Put something down; take more than one trip; you're still valuable even if not doing everything perfectly at once!

We wrap up here today reminding if needing help prioritizing habits or thinking kindly about yourself—check out my new book Thinking Kindly linked around this podcast—or reach out via toniawinchester.com

Thank you for being here; thank you for listening; thank you for getting curious about better health relationships & existence through different approaches! May all your dreams come true!