"Generally speaking, the anxious person is living in the future and the depressed person is living in the past.

And yet we forget that right here, there is so much magic." - Dr. Tonia Winchester

Are you waiting for something good to happen in your life? Are you hoping and praying that some magical fairy will drop out of the sky and bippedy-boppedy-boop you into your dream life? Sorry to rain on your parade sugar, but that might not be the best approach.

You’ll learn why and what to do instead in this epsiode of the Wonder With Me Podcast. You’ll uncover what you can gain from reflecting on the past and how embracing the present moment can transform your life. You’ll discover what it means to take charge of your emotions and actions and how a simple formula explains it all.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute a therapeutic relationship and is not in any way, shape, or form designed or intended  to be therapeutic, clinical, or medical advice.

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If you'd prefer to read an approximate transcript scroll to the bottom of this post.

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LINKS/ SHOW NOTES: 

POST: The CRUCIAL Thing You Probably Know But Need To Remember About This Moment

Episode #56 - Do These 4 Things to Get What You Want

Episode #54 - Keeping Your Inner Peace

Episode #39 - Doing Your Future Self All the Solids

Episode #2 - 20 Ways to Keep Calm and Prevent Burnout

FROM DR. TONIA

FORMULA FOR HEALTH

FREE AUDIO: LISTENERS

WORK TOGETHER

SHIFT session

LIFT session

3 month Breakthrough

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🧠💗💫Thanks for wondering with me today. If you got something good out of this then please forward this episode to people who you know could benefit.

Be sure to subscribe, and if you're really keen when you leave us a rating and review, that helps us help more people.

🙏Thank you in advance for that. If you're wanting more insights about how you can leverage the power of your unconscious mind to go back into healing mode head on over to ⁠⁠⁠⁠toniawinchester.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ where you can find my books: Break Through The Insomnia Cycle and Thinking Kindly and other helpful ideas.

👏Thanks again and we'll connect on the next episode of the Wonder With Me.

In the meantime may you choose to make all your dreams come true.

🧠💗💫 Dr. Tonia Winchester, ND, NLP

Naturopathic Doctor

Mind-Body Healing Coach

Author: ⁠Break Through The Insomnia Cycle⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

Author: ⁠⁠Thinking Kindly⁠

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➕For more post and podcasts head to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠coach.toniawinchster.com/posts⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠🙋‍♀️What to get in touch? Leave me a voice message right here on Spotify. I love hearing from listeners!

🎵INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC: West My Friend  

APPROXIMATE TRANSCRIPT

It’s another retro-sode! This article was published in 2015 and originally written after losing a dear loved one in 2011. Its first title was Enjoy the Sunshine When You See It, and it’s still in loving memory of Kenny D., a man who touched many lives. His light will always shine with us. I read this out loud at Ken's celebration of life, which hundreds attended, similar to when I spoke at my dad’s service.

QUICK TAKE AWAYS: 

In season three, we'll talk about increasing our capacity for good in our lives. For now, remember: 

Life is too quick to wait for something better.

Be proactive in your life. 

Don't passively wait for things to happen. 

Create them by changing your perspective and actions.

MORE THOROUGH TRANSCRIPT

A retro-sode is when we go back in time and read out loud an old blog article from the blog days of Tonia's yesteryear. Why? Because I'm curious to see what I was curious about then, and if those things are still relevant today. I’m curious how they've shaped my current way of viewing things, and if that's still helpful. It’s also good to stop and see how far we've come. 

These old words stand. 

This moment is all we have. There is no future. There is no past. We just have now. Yet we forget that because we're racing to plan ahead. We're racing to make sure that we have everything under control so that things go exactly as we want them to. 

We hold on to:

• The past and it changes how we are now

• Old unresolved negative emotions

• Traumas

• Limiting beliefs and values…
  

…That may not even belong to us but that we just adopted because back then when we were young, we didn't have the brain development to discern what we wanted or what we didn't want for ourselves. 

Generally speaking, the anxious person is living in the future and the depressed person is living in the past. 

And yet we forget that right here, there is so much magic.

We take it for granted that there's going to be more and gooder and better in the future. You and I both know we can’t guarantee that. 

The main thing that stood out to me is: 

Life is far too quick to wait for something better to come along.

Lets talk about this passivity implied in this sentence. 

It'll get better tomorrow. Tomorrow's a new day. Time will tell. Just give it time. These are all very passive approaches to life. It’s like we're waiting for something or someone outside of us to make things good for us.

Now, in my coaching practice with my mind-body healing clients, we spend a lot of time talking about being at cause versus being at effect. 

It's an equation: cause is always greater than effect. There's always some sort of cause that creates a result.

Being at cause means that we're the determining factor in a series of events or a result. 

Being at effect is exactly that. It means we’re at the effect of anything outside of ourselves.

If there's something that you want, get it. Be who you need to be and do what you need to do to get it. (PS… if you don’t know these things… I can help). 

Yes, there may be things that you have to do over and over and over again before you can actually have the thing that you want. 

But don't wait. 

Don't wait around for it to be offered to you. 

Don't wait around for it to be the result of something someone else did. 

Change. Be different. Do different. Then you’ll get and have different. 

It's so simple to say out loud and I acknowledge that It's less simple to do in real life, and this is what it takes to be at cause. 

It’s making a choice: 

• to take a stand for yourself

• to grow up

• to change your position

• to change your perspective and attitude

• to pick a new direction to go in… 

… So that you can actually create what you want in your life. That could be vibrant health, deep and passionate relationships, or a fulfilling and lucrative career. 

When you’re at effect, you’re just waiting for it to come along. You’re waiting to react to when something doesn’t go your way. For some people that’s what drives them to change. Poop hits the fan or they hit their rock bottom. Only then do they consider new and different options. It’s passive and reactive. 

There's nothing wrong with that per se, but what I'm encouraging you to consider is: 

How can you be more proactive in your own life and your own well-being? 

How do you get to the cause side of the equation? 

When I talk with my clients about getting at cause, it's about increasing your capacity to choose in any given moment who you want to be, how you want to behave. 

You can even consider this when it comes to emotions. I talk about this in my book, Thinking Kindly. 

When we say, “He made me angry,” it’s not accurate, because that's not how emotions work. 

The person did something, behaved in a certain way. Internally and unconsciously you interpreted it in a specific way, based on various neurological filters, and your body created the sensations and feelings for anger. 

That's on you. You got angry. Can you see the difference? 

Something as simple as choosing to be at cause of your own emotions is a game changer. 

Don't wait for something better to come along. 

Don't be passive in your own life. 

Be proactive. 

Take a stand for yourself because

THIS Moment really is all you have.

There are no guarantees. We've all had tragic and sudden losses in our lives. We all are tuned in to the truth that we all face an endpoint in this lifetime.

What can you do right here and right now to acknowledge that you are right here and right now, and that whatever you're doing right here and right now is going to contribute to what's going to be happening in the future for yourself? 

Going back to a previous episode in this season, having your current self do your future self all the solids. 

How can you get at cause of your own experiences?

It might be getting at cause of your internal experienes like your thoughts and emotions (book Thinking Kindly can help). 

It might be getting at cause of your your habits, that's Episode #56 - Do These 4 Things to Get What You Want. 

It might be getting at cause of your results. 

Regardless of where you begin getting at cause, start here and now because tomorrow never comes. 

We don't know. We have no guarantees. Don’t be passive in your life. 

Be proactive.

I hope that this is helpful, that it helps you see things in a different way, and allows you to get curious about the places where you're stuck in your life. 

The purpose of this content is to offer you insights and suggestions about how to get out of those stuck places. Essentially, it’s about learning to leveraging the power of our thinking, intending, and unconscious mind to to back into healing mode. All of this so we can have the vitality, energy, peace, and joy to enable us to do good things in the world. 

That’s my bigger hope. That as we heal our own bodies and minds, we can create a ripple effect of positive change for those around us. 

If you feel like you need any help with any of the topics we've covered today or in previous posts, hit us up in the chat box at the bottom right of your screen. So click over to toniawinchester.com to learn about all the ways we can work together. Also you’ll find a free downloadable audio hypnosis track to help release negative emotions.