"All change, learning, healing, and habits happen at the level of the unconscious mind" - Dr. Tonia Winchester

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I wanted to include an excerpt from my book, Breakthrough the Insomnia Cycle: How To Sleep Deeply, Wake Rested, and Enjoy Happy Energized Days a podcast episode because it can help explain how sometimes we think we’re doing all the right things - especially from a self help perspective but not making any traction.

Sometimes for years…

I had a realization that is the perfect compliment to the excerpt that I wanted to include. And the two ideas are mostly connected - enough that they can be included in the same episode and also different enough that you’ll think you’re getting a bonus episode as you listen. That’s right it’s like two epis in one. Lucky you!

So I'll include the recent aha first. I recently participated in an online transformational training, and I must say that knowing the tools of NLP, both as a coach and as a client, has spoiled me for all other personal development and self help work. Contemporary counseling (aka talk therapy), mindfulness, and somatic practices just don't seem as effective or efficient - in my personal experience of course and also witnessing my clients and patients experiences

In this training, the instructor encouraged us to identify our "story" or limiting belief behind our problems. He then guided us through a 15-minute compassion meditation, imagining ourselves at the time when the belief was formed. While it's a lovely idea, I found it hard to focus. The instructor claimed that after doing this consistently for weeks or months, we would notice a "softening" of our allegiance to the belief.

However, with neurolinguistic programming, I can help someone identify and clear their root cause belief in just 30 minutes. Often, clients don't even remember the limiting belief after the technique. And yet, this guru suggests spending months trying to cultivate compassion for those involved in creating our limiting beliefs. That's why I'm ruined for self-help; nothing is as efficient as what I can achieve with NLP in just half an hour.

In my sessions, we not only clear one belief but address any others connected to the issue. We also use transformation techniques that create an embodied experience of change, testing before and after to ensure old triggers are no longer present and new possibilities exist.

I talked about this in Episode 32 and also in Episode 31.

The following is a brief excerpt from my book about self-help and its limitations. I hope you'll see that there are faster options for change out there. Although they come with an investment, consider how much it costs you to hold onto these limiting beliefs financially, emotionally, physically, biochemically, and energetically.

You've made an investment in these limiting decisions and beliefs that keep you stuck in uncomfortable patterns like stress, anxiety, burnout, insomnia, unfulfilling relationships, lack of confidence, indecision, and more. With NLP, we can make the process of change smoother and ensure it's genuinely what you want.

So, ask yourself: What has it cost you to stay this way? What will it cost you in the future? We both know it'll only get worse. I appreciate your time, and I hope you choose to make all of your dreams come true.

BREAK THROUGH THE INSOMNIA CYCLE -

CHAPTER 4 EXCERPT

You’ve tried all the things. I know you’re no dummy. It’s not like you don’t want to change, and it’s not like you haven’t tried to feel better. It may even seem like you’ve tried everything, does it not? All. The. Things. 

If you’re like me and most of my clients, then you’ve probably tried this common strategy and may be frustrated as to why it doesn't seem to be working for you in the long term. Wonder no more! Onwards. 

Self Help

You watch Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday religiously, right? You’ve got the latest Depok Chopra, Gabby Bernstein, or Brene Brown cued up on your Kindle or Audible. You watch TED talks, TEDx talks, and you’ve been to weekend seminars. Maybe even jumped up and down to loud, thumping music in a conference hall full of strangers and walked on fire. 

You tend to double tap on memes about self love, self care, and trauma responses from the Holistic Psychologist, sharing them in your stories or DMing them to your friends. You’re a self help junky, and I get that. Part of you wants to be fiercely independent and do it yourself. I also respect that there may be other reasons why you don’t want to see a professional. Maybe you don’t want to put your schtuff on others, to burden them. Maybe you don’t want to be vulnerable, or relive your past, or seem weak, or be judged. 

For some, it’s more painful to think about getting help than it is to stay in the pain of the insomnia cycle. So you try to DIY it. One reason that doesn’t actually help you resolve your struggle is that the desire for change is happening at the level of the conscious mind, and all change, learning, healing, and habits happen at the level of the unconscious mind. I want that sentence to sink in so I’m going to set it aside in its own bold paragraph.  

All change, learning, healing, and habits happen at the level of the unconscious mind.

What most people don’t realize is that it's nearly impossible to be both in the conscious mind and the unconscious mind at the same time due to something we’ll talk about later called the critical faculty. 

Another reason why self-help doesn’t seem to give you a lot of traction is that your unconscious mind is designed to keep things from you on purpose, typically as a protective mechanism so it’s easy to miss your own blind spots. Your unconscious mind has repressed or filtered those memories for a reason and so it is unlikely to release the charge on those old stories just because you consciously want to change something in your life. 

Since all change happens at the level of the unconscious mind, breaking through the insomnia cycle won’t happen by reading or listening it away. Consuming more content isn’t what you need. You don’t need more information. Remember my weight gain story? I knew what to do to get my body to release the weight but I wouldn’t or couldn’t do it. You wouldn’t consider learning to ride a bike from a book would you? No. And when you learned to walk it wasn’t because you studied walking in your cardboard picture books did you, No, of course not. So why then, when it comes to breaking out of your insomnia cycle do you keep doing more research just to get more information or attend weekend seminars to give you a temporary high? I know you’re here, reading this book because what you’ve been doing isn’t working and you’re looking for new solutions. 

What if you don’t need more information but instead need a transformation? Now I’m talking about how your brain is wired for these uncomfortable and distressing patterns such as stress, anxiety, restless or absent sleep patterns, and daytime fatigue. In a word, how your brain is wired for burnout. 

The way out of that is not learning more about the biochemistry of what is missing or present in too high quantities. If you had a phD in digestion and knew all the ins and outs of each digestive enzyme, how they are made and released, and how they broke down your food into molecules, would you be able to start or stop your digestion at will? No. Information isn’t the solution. The solution - aka the way out - is working with the unconscious mind - the deep part of you that is running the show under the surface all the time - keeping you stuck on auto pilot, reacting in the same way to the same triggers over and over again.  

The good news is that our minds are plastic. They can be changed and with the right guidance you can transform your internal circuitry so that you’re instead wired for happiness, consciousness, peace, and ease. Do you want to keep scouring the internet for the reductionist solution to your problem or do you want to just overcome your problem? 

Sure, some people force personal growth and self development with sheer will and determination, and rest assured there is a much easier way. The way out is by reprograming how your unconscious mind filters your world. We are going to get way deeper into the unconscious mind and how it works in a later chapter but for now know that self help is always going to be the hardest, longest route to get to where you want to go. 

And that’s exactly what I do. I help people who have been stuck trying to help themselves to finally get a clear path and strategy to over come what's been in their way. They clear and eliminate faulty, limiting belief systems so that their nervous systems can calm down and their bodies can go back into healing mode.

So if any of that looks, sounds or feels good to you, I'm letting you know I'm here to help.

There are two simple ways to work together.

1️⃣FIRST if you haven’t grab yourself a copy of:

BREAK THROUGH THE INSOMNIA CYCLE: HOW TO SLEEP DEEPLY, WAKE RESTED, AND ENJOY HAPPY, ENERGIZED DAYS

2️⃣ SECOND: So if you’re needing any support to create new filters and new self care habits to help you reach your most desired goals... then I invite you to consider a mind-body healing breakthrough.

This is where you’ll release the painful imprints of the past and go back into healing mode, easily able to create new habits and positive results in your health and life, then book a discovery call with me or my team.

We’ll spend 30 minutes helping you get very clear on what loops you’re wanting to close and where you’re wanting to go. If it’s a match I might invite you to enroll in a breakthrough and I’ll provide the easiest way to do that when we chat.

CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR CALL

3️⃣ THIRD. If you're curious to learn more about OTHER ways of working together, Click the image below.

I very much look forward to connecting and in the meantime...

🧠💗💫May you choose to make all your dreams come true!