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Three pillars required for easy change

Three Pillars Of Change

February 21, 20238 min read

"CATCHY QUOTE" - Tonia Winchester

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You know how people with anxiety can't seem to break out of their patterns of over thinking and worry?

And you know the bigger problem is what this revved up nervous system does to their entire system - their bodies, and minds.

You and I both know that these people not only are so exhausted and overwhelmed, but are experiencing other problems in their life like snapping at their kids, avoiding their partners, making mistakes at work, and generally feeling unfulfilled in their lives.

Imagine a world where women can wake up refreshed and restored. They have energy to meet all their OWN needs and have juju to spare to really make a difference in the lives of those around them, both their families and teams and coworkers. These women create a beautiful ripple effect of presence and consciousness that positively impacts their own well-being and everyone they encounter.

As a brain-based coach, I'm committed to helping women with stress, anxiety, and insomnia to transform their lives, through a personal coaching process that allows them to calm their mind, sleep deeply, and find joy and energy again.

And I'm asking for your commitment. Can you commit to considering that this transformation could be possible for you? If that's you, then read on and discover the three things you need to do to create true, sustainable change in your life.

The Three Requisites of Change

You know those people that you meet and interact with, both superficially and intimately that seem to always be focused on the past. Or maybe you can tell that their past is having a massive impact on their current relationships. And what do we say about those people? That they have baggage.

We all do. We all have stuff in our past that is affecting our ability to feel good in the moment and create incredibly compelling futures for ourselves and our families. That brings us to the first point.

1. Clear the Past (Baggage)

The unconscious mind serves many functions especially when it comes to memories. It stores memories both by category and in relation to time. All your "camping memories" are stored together and each camping trip is stored sequentially, on a timeline.

The unconscious mind also represses memories with unresolved negative emotions, and this typically serves to protect us in some way. But because these emotions aren't resolved they show up a little harsh snakes that bite the people we love, especially when we're tired. But you don't know why you're lashing out.

It's hard to stop even though you don't want to do it, and you feel guilty about it afterwards.

Lastly the unconscious mind re-presents these repressed memories when they are ready for resolution. And this is what happens when I work with people. The way brain-based coaching breakthrough communicates directly with the unconscious mind, allows memories to be easily resolved and cleared so those negative emotions and experiences no longer taint our current experience.

After clearing the "Big 5" emotions, a client said, "I'm just so happy. I have absolutely no reason to be stressed," and another client said, "My brain feels different."

This is the first step to make change in your life and transform your well-being (and relationships). This step is challenging to do on your own because your unconscious mind is hard to access by self reflection, alone. You need an outside perspective who can offer strategies to bypass your critical faculty aka your conscious mind.

And this is by design. Remember, your unconscious mind has repressed these things for a reason.

2. Take Massive Actions

Once you've cleared the negative emotions and experiences out of your past you're ready to take action. This is where the rubber meets the road. New actions generate new results.

If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting.

However, until you clear your past, and recode negative emotions, events, or beliefs, your unconscious mind will put the breaks on your new actions.

You know those new years that roll around and you say to yourself, "I'm going to go to the gym regularly this year. That's my new year's resolution."

And you go that first day and you totally rock it. Well done you. ???

Day two you get up, you get your gear on and you go. Another check mark.

Then on day three the kids need something extra from you in the morning, or your favourite Lulu top was still drying because you washed it after yesterday's epic workout and... you... just... don't go.

The fourth day you're dealing with the dog's diarrhea and again... you... just... don't go.

Or maybe it's not being able to commit to a healthy eating routine.

That type of self-sabotage I see all the time in my practice. And maybe as you're reading this you're nodding along. Yep, you've been there. We all have. I definitely have.

So what gives? Well... there are lurkers in your unconscious mind, looking over your attempts at creating new habits, and saying, "Nope. That doesn't match what we believe." These lurkers are the memories from our past that affect how we filter the world and how we can makes changes in our lives - even the changes we really want to make!

When I'm helping women breakthrough their anxiety and overcome dissatisfaction in their lives we spend 4 hours clearing negative emotions, events, and beliefs out of the past. Then we spend 2 hours reconnecting the unconscious mind to positive emotions, events, and beliefs in both the past and present. Next we spend 2 hours exploring personal values and building achievable goals.

And it is then, and I'll boldly say, only then that people can take new actions, change their habits, and build new ways of being in the world that really endure because now the unconscious mind beliefs that what you want is doable; it's a match for what it also believes.

3. Focus on What You Want

It's easy to get caught up in what's wrong. I'm anxious. I'm just so tired. I'm completely overwhelmed. I'm barking at my kids. My partner and I are fighting all the time. They don't listen to me. My boss is a bitch. My mom is totally stressing me out. My sister's not talking to me and I can't figure out why.

You spend most of your time going... WTF??? What is wrong with me? Why is everything against me? Why can't I just be happy?

And that's just it. Your desire might be really simple. Maybe you just want to be happy. Perhaps you just want to have enough energy at the end of the day to be present with your kids and/or spend quality (adult) time with your partner. Or maybe you just want to do a good job at work, you know, really make a difference. Is that so hard to ask?

Simply you're looking to enjoy a fulfilling, satisfying, meaningful life. But you're stuck with anxious thoughts, negative self-talk, and constant fatigue.

If it seems like you can't stop thinking about how miserable things are, then you're not alone, and I can understand where that pattern comes from.

When there's something off we want to find a solution. In order to find a solution, we have to think about the thing that's off, right?

But here's the clincher. Focusing on your problems is best way to stay stuck in them, neurologically speaking.

Nerves that fire together wire together.

Thinking non-stop about what's wrong is like looking at an F grade on a paper and trying to will to to magically change into an A. Heck you'd even settle for a C- at this point. Regardless, willing the grade to change is obviously not going to work.

And expecting your problems to dissolve by obsessing over them won't work either. You're just repaving those neural pathways, fortifying the tendencies for all the things you're trying to get away from.

Whether it's anxiety, insomnia, stress, tension, fatigue, irritability, etc., the way out is to focus on what you want.

Simple, eh? I'm sure you already know that it's not easy just to switch your focus right now.

Here's why. We circle back to the unconscious mind and how it gets locked into negative patterns of the past. And this is why clearing is the first requisite of change.

(There is another version of this on BRAINZ MAGAZINE if you wanted to get more words on this same topic).


And that’s exactly what I do when I work with people. We clear their past and prime them to focus on what they want, ultimately calming their minds, allowing them to sleep deeply and finding joy and energy in their lives again.

So if any of that looks, sounds or feels good to you, I'm letting you know I'm here to help.

There are two simple ways to work together.

1️⃣FIRST if you haven’t grab yourself a copy of:

BREAK THROUGH THE INSOMNIA CYCLE: HOW TO SLEEP DEEPLY, WAKE RESTED, AND ENJOY HAPPY, ENERGIZED DAYS


break through the insomnia cycle


What is a brain-based transformation breakthrough

2️⃣ SECOND: So if you’re needing any support to create new filters and new self care habits to help you reach your most desired goals... then I invite you to consider a mind-body healing breakthrough.

This is where you’ll release the painful imprints of the past and go back into healing mode, easily able to create new habits and positive results in your health and life, then book a discovery call with me or my team.

We’ll spend 30 minutes helping you get very clear on what loops you’re wanting to close and where you’re wanting to go. If it’s a match I might invite you to enroll in a breakthrough and I’ll provide the easiest way to do that when we chat.

CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR CALL


3️⃣ THIRD. If you're curious to learn more about OTHER ways of working together, Click the image below.

how to work with dr. tonia winchester, nd, nlp

I very much look forward to connecting and in the meantime...

🧠💗💫May you choose to make all your dreams come true!


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Dr. Tonia Winchester, ND, NLP

Dr. Tonia Winchester is a naturopathic doctor and Master Neurolinguistic Programming Coach. She helps humans who are struggling with stress, overwhelm, anxiety, and insomnia, to calm their minds, sleep deeply, and find joy and energy, so that they can create exceptional lives for themselves, their families, and their communities. Grab your copy of her book: Break Through the Insomnia Cycle, The How to Sleep Deeply, Wake Rested and Enjoy Happy Energized Days. toniawinchester.com

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