"Where does the pain of change reach the point where it’s less then the pain of staying the same?" - Tonia Winchester

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READ: (... approximate transcript...)

I came down stairs at my mom’s place and saw the rocking chair rocking by the window. No one was sitting in it. It was just me there… that I knew of.

"Dad? I thought?" And by dad… I meant… dad’s ghost?

Gulp.

I turned my head in the other direction and my mom was leaning on the dining room table.

"Oh! Good. I didn’t know you were home yet." I signed.

"Do you have any idea what happened this morning? She asked.

TONIA: "Sure… you went to do your volunteer work, and I stayed here and worked on my lap top, and had a meeting and now we’re here recapping all of that."

MOM: "Well… not really..."

She told me that she left here like she normally does including setting the alarm. Oops. Even though I was still in the house.

Unbeknownst to me when I came down stairs for my breakfast I set off the motion sensors and triggered the alarm.

Then I went back upstairs and I was really aware of the all the city noise (I live in the forest and am used to birds crickets and frogs) so I found some of my dad’s old headphones and plunked them on my head listening to some groovy lo-fi beats while I did some writing.

➡️Completely oblivious to any problems distress or crises.

Meanwhile the alarm company was trying to get a hold of my mom and her emergency contacts. Eventually they got a hold of her and she assured them that it was likely just me, her daughter, in the house. They cancelled the law enforcement that they had dispatched.

Mom decided to come home (because getting a hold of me wasn't working... I was in LALA lo-fi writing mode).

She got home at 11 am. I didn’t come down stairs to see the empty rocking rocking chair until 1:10 pm.

During that time she came up stairs and saw me with the headphones on and decided not to disturb me. I remained in my LALA lo-fi writing mode

Soooo…. Why did all of this happen?

Because she - as we all are are- was functioning on autopilot.

It’s much easier for our brains to predict what to do next from past behaviors and experiences than to think of a novel way to address a certain situation. Especially if it’s very similar to a situation we’ve experienced before. READ: Less energy required.

In this case her leaving the house comes with a set of sequenced steps. She goes into the garage, locks the door and sets the alarm.

Automatically. No thinking required. No energy expended, leaving more energy for other things that are going on in the body.

It’s estimated that only 5% of our behavior is driven by our conscious mind and the rest - you guessed it is being driven by our unconscious minds.

With out our awareness.

This shows up in our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, how we heel. It’s all happening with out us thinking about it.

And if there are old patterns in there from hurt we experienced as a little we’re likely going to react in ways or behave in ways that we’re not proud of.

Automatically.

We’re aware of these things after the fact, like storming out on our spouse, or flying off the handle on our kids, or drinking too much, or watching just one more short or reel or episode, or buying just one more pair of shoes.

Or when we eat popcorn for supper, when we stay up past 10 pm, and when we push people away that could be really good to us.

All of these habits happen with out thinking

And I’m wondering if you’re wondering what it’s going to take, how far things need to go to get the alarm activated and the response team mobilized.

Where does the pain of change reach the point where it’s less then the pain of staying the same?

Because this is the crucial turn around moment!

Maybe it’s when your precious 4 year old says mommy I’m scared of you.

Maybe it’s when you miss a friends birthday because you were too high.

Maybe it’s when you reach that number on the scale. You know that one… that you never thought you’d see.

Or maybe it’s when you miss the deadline for your dream job application because you had to see how the show ended… 4 episodes later.

(All true patient / client stories by the way)

Yes… these are challenging things to think about and isn’t it more challenging to continue to let the pain from your past continue to drive your bus with out your awareness or consent?

Wouldn’t it be less painful to claim authorship of your own life… I mean you’re the one living it, aren’t you?

To get out of these ruts, patterns, loops, struggles you have to break through the cycle.

You need a pattern interrupt.

My mom didn’t have a pattern interrupt strong enough to create a new behavior that morning. Perhaps because she hadn’t seen me yet. Me being there - It wasn’t conscious enough for her to leave with out the setting the alarm.

And drama ensued. I mean not for me of course. To review I was in LALA lo-fi writing mode.

We need neurological pattern interrupts. We need new filters, new options, new ways of seeing the world. New behaviors and responses and choices available to us.

And that’s exactly what I do when I work with my clients and guide them through a mind-body healing breakthrough process.

We break the patterns of the past so that the nervous system is primed for what ever they want instead of what they’ve been getting and creating because of the automatic programs from before.

We clear stuck emotions and reprogram in access to positive and healthy ones. We remove the triggers from certain events and memories and peoples so that they can choose again and choose differently… this time with intention and consciousness.

So there it is. Two main take aways from this post / podcast…

ONE: you’re living your life like a robot and you have the ability to get back in the driver seat of your own life and I can help you do that.

TWO: be kind and compassionate when moving through the world and you find yourself being offended or hurt by what people do “to you.”

They are just acting from their same automated pain programs predicting the best response based on what was effective in the past (even if it may no longer be a helpful thing). So be kind get curious… find compassion.

CHECK OUT PART TWO OF THIS IDEA HERE. (AVAIL NOV 29)

And that’s exactly what I do. I help people break the patterns of the past so that their nervous system is primed for what ever they want instead of what they’ve been getting and creating because of the automatic programs from before.

All so they can go back into healing mode.

So if you're having trouble with any of those things and any of that looks, sounds or feels good to you, I'm letting you know I'm here to help.

There are two simple ways to work together.

1️⃣FIRST if you haven’t grab yourself a copy of:

BREAK THROUGH THE INSOMNIA CYCLE: HOW TO SLEEP DEEPLY, WAKE RESTED, AND ENJOY HAPPY, ENERGIZED DAYS

2️⃣ SECOND: So if you’re needing any support to create new filters and new self care habits to help you reach your most desired goals... then I invite you to consider mind-body healing breakthrough.

This is where you’ll release the painful imprints of the past and go back into healing mode, easily able to create new habits and positive results in your health and life, then book a discovery call with me or my team.

We’ll spend 30 minutes helping you get very clear on what loops you’re wanting to close and where you’re wanting to go. If it’s a match I might invite you to enroll in a breakthrough and I’ll provide the easiest way to do that when we chat.

CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR CALL

3️⃣ THIRD. If you're curious to learn more about OTHER ways of working together, Click the image below.

I very much look forward to connecting and in the meantime...

🧠💗💫May you choose to make all your dreams come true!