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"What happens in our neurology the nanosecond before we behave?" - Tonia Winchester
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In episode #31 of the Wonder with Me Podcast I shared some stories that illustrate how we are operating on autopilot, and our behaviours are often beyond our conscious control.
Today, lets go into these automatic behaviors, and explore the nanosecond moment before they happen.
Neurologically we all have strategies which are the predictable pathways that play out when we experience specific external triggers, whether they be visual, auditory, or kinesthetic.
This is how those triggers go from outside to inside to behavior.
TRIGGER (external) ➡️ Through our unconscious filters information is deleted, distorted, generalized ➡️ Internal thought, image, sound ➡️internal feeling ➡️BEHAVIOR
These automatic behaviors could manifest as habits that we're not proud of:
reactivity towards others
overeating
substance abuse
avoidance patterns
etc...
Many of these patterns are likely rooted in childhood events that altered our neurology - because we didn't have the brain development at the time to release and heal from those experiences.
Take my personal weight release journey, for example. (More on that here).
At 35, I gained 35 pounds in a year. Despite my knowledge of how to shed weight, it lingered. Later, I understood its purpose: protection. I was in a threatening situation involving people whose actions activated a trauma response within me. And I was susceptible to this because of past experiences from when I was really young.
This created new unconscious strategies reactions leading to shrinking, getting small by shutting down my own voice. In turn this shut down my metabolism, and gaining weight gain as a defense mechanism.
When I learned neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and went through the breakthrough process, I cleared these painful memories from my childhood.
When I say, "Cleared," I mean I neurologically removed the emotional charge from the events. The facts of the story remain the same.
What is different now is my interpretation of those events.
To help clients overcome their own issues, we must identify their external triggers — whether it's a tone of voice, facial expression, or say for example a red hat.
Again, automatically these triggers lead to an internal experience: an image, sound, feeling or thought—and subsequently an emotion like worry or anger. Finally, this results in unwanted behavior.
Like clockwork.
This entire process happens at lightning speed and is entirely unconscious.
For instance, as an auditory person, hearing a song might instantly transport me back to where I first heard it—triggering related emotions and behaviors.
By understanding these patterns and addressing the root causes of our traumas, we can reshape our lives for the better.
At a trade show-type event, I recognized a familiar voice a few tables down. Though I couldn't recall her name or face, the moment I heard her voice, her entire patient case came flooding back. Later that day, when she approached me, I recognized her immediately … as soon as she spoke and I connected her voice to her face.
In this stressful situation (at age 35 ish), one of my triggers was the a person’s voice who I chose to defend myself against.
Pay attention to my language in what I just said. It's essential to take responsibility for our reactions and choices even our unconscious so we can be at the cause of our responses actions and results.
Yes, their behavior affected me, but ultimately, it was my interpretation and unconscious choices that led to my defense mechanism of weight gain. All that was on me. Literally.
The key to regaining our freedom is decoupling the original trigger from the behaviour.
This creates new neural pathways and strategies that link the same trigger to new more helpful and healthy behaviours.
Because we might encounter the same trigger again BUT when we change the automation around it we have new choices available to us.
We can get at cause and take responsibility for our behaviors and outcomes.
I knew my strategy was different (the trigger had been decoupled from the behavior) when I overheard my perp's voice in a busy shop. When they came into view, and I confirmed it was them, there was
NO NERVOUS SYSTEM ACTIVATION in my body or anxiety; just calm breathing and I casually walked away.
Same trigger but a massive behaviour change proof that my neurology had shifted.
By clearing painful imprints from our pasts, we can make new choices that better serve our health and well-being, ultimately allowing us to achieve our goals in life.
So if that looks, sounds or feels good to you, I'm letting you know I'm here to help.
There are two simple ways to work together.
This is where you’ll release the painful imprints of the past and go back into healing mode, easily able to create new habits and positive results in your health and life, then book a discovery call with me or my team.
We’ll spend 30 minutes helping you get very clear on what loops you’re wanting to close and where you’re wanting to go. If it’s a match I might invite you to enroll in a breakthrough and I’ll provide the easiest way to do that when we chat.
I very much look forward to connecting and in the meantime...
🧠💗💫May you choose to make all your dreams come true!
My clients are people stuck in their health or lives with burnout, insomnia , anxiety, or stress. After working with me they can calm their minds, sleep deeply, and find joy and energy again - all with out talk therapy or medications.
FOR SUPPORT ISSUES OR QUESTIONS, PLEASE EMAIL: vitality@toniawinchester.com
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