"This was never discussed with this person. It just is now different. How do we explain that? How do we explain my internal shifts affecting other people's behaviors? Isn't that so fascinating? Doesn't that make you get so curious?" - Dr. Tonia Winchester

How do we really create new results in our life? This is one of the questions I wonder about a lot and get really curious about.

Of course, there are lots of ways of doing this but I’m slanted to suggest that it has to start on the inside first. We have to shift - not just our thinking - but something deeper than that.

And when we are able to do that (spoiler alert: I can help) then what seem like miracles can occur in our health and our lives. In this episode of the Wonder With Me Podcast I share MORE examples of what has shifted externally for me after making internal shifts and also share stories from clients as well.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute a therapeutic relationship and is not in any way, shape, or form designed or intended  to be therapeutic, clinical, or medical advice.

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LINKS/SHOW NOTES:

FROM DR. TONIA

EPISODE 44 - Choosing sustainability over discomfort

EPISODE 40 - What if that one problematic thing was just gone?

EPISODE 39 - Doing Your Future Self All Of the Solids

EPISODE 3 -  How my body finally decided to lose weight

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FROM OTHERS: 

BOOK: The Metabolism Plan By Lyn-Genet Recitas

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🧠💗💫Thanks for wondering with me today. If you got something good out of this then please forward this episode to people who you know could benefit.

Be sure to subscribe, and if you're really keen when you leave us a rating and review, that helps us help more people.

🙏Thank you in advance for that. If you're wanting more insights about how you can leverage the power of your unconscious mind to go back into healing mode head on over to ⁠⁠⁠⁠toniawinchester.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ where you can find my books: Break Through The Insomnia Cycle and Thinking Kindly and other helpful ideas.

👏Thanks again and we'll connect on the next episode of the Wonder With Me.

In the meantime may you choose to make all your dreams come true.

🧠💗💫 Dr. Tonia Winchester, ND, NLP

Naturopathic DoctorMind-Body Healing Coach

Author: ⁠Break Through The Insomnia Cycle⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

Author: ⁠⁠Thinking Kindly⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

➕For more post and podcasts head to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠coach.toniawinchster.com/posts⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠🙋‍♀️What to get in touch? Leave me a voice message right here on Spotify. I love hearing from listeners!

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APPROXIMATE TRANSCRIPT (AI generated summary)

In episode number 40 of the Wonder With Me Podcast (“What if that one thing was just gone?) I shared a story of a specific benefit I got out of new work I trained in this summer. This episode, I'm going to share more benefits that have emerged since then, along with some client stories as well. We'll also get to the big take-home life lesson at the end of the episode.

With all that said, let's get into it. Let's get wondering.

In episode 40, I shared how after some new clinical training I noticed a change in my spending behaviors. I was no longer spending money I didn’t have on clothes, which had been a problematic behavior for me. It's been four and a half months since that behavior occurred, and I'm really grateful for it.

More and more benefits are emerging as time goes by. Let's start with this one. Along the same lines, I realized the other day that not only am I not spending money on clothes I don't need or have the money for, but I'm also no longer debting—yes, I use that as a verb. I'm going to come back to this specific topic in another episode, maybe two or three months down the road.

I also reached my goal weight. You may know I've been on a weight release journey for some time, and I did it! Is it an arbitrary number? Yes. Why did I pick it? Because I wanted to see if I could get to the same weight and body composition now at age 44 as I was when I was 29 - 15 years ago.

For the last eight or nine months, I'd been about 10-15 pounds away from this target. After my training in June, something changed inside me. Over July, I knew the way to get back there was to follow The Metabolism Plan, which I've talked about in previous episodes. And following that system, I got there.

You may think, okay, so what does that have to do with the course? Well, as I mentioned, something changed inside me. There were behaviors around food that prevented me from reaching this arbitrary target. After the course, I was ready to commit and do what needed to be done—no more dilly-dallying and ruminating. I turned thinking into doing. More on this in a moment.

Okay, let's review what we have so far:

1. Example one: no more spending on clothing.

2. Example two: no more debting.

3. Example three: reached my target weight after committing to a way of eating and living that would get me there.

All these things I've mentioned are internal problems or misalignments preventing certain behaviors—the behaviors needed to help me get out of my problems.

When I solved the internal problem; my external behaviors changed and I got new results.

And this relates specifically to the NLP Model of Communication which I describe in my new book Thinking Kindly.

The next two examples involve other people's behavior, observable differences, which are blowing my mind because the two people involved in these changes didn’t do any change work. I was the one who did that. .

The first involves my husband. He's such a good platform for these life moments that become life lessons. He's stable emotionally but very messy physically in our space. Clutter doesn't bother him; he's not distressed by messes.

We've been together 16 years and for the first 10 years, there were constant requests like “Can you please put empty food packages in recycling or garbage?” or “Can you please wash your dishes right away?” or “Can you please put your dishes in the dishwasher?” We tried different systems over the years but always slid back into old patterns—him making a mess and me being bitter about cleaning up after him. Or! I would strike and let it build up for days.

Then I took my training and made internal shifts. He was gone for four days during which time I enjoyed a clean-as-I-go system. It was blissful having clear and clean counter space! When he came home, I told him it was nice to have him home but I did have to admit how nice it was having clean counters every day due to my clean-as-I-go system working for me.

That was five weeks ago; ever since then he's been cleaning up after himself without any real request from me. He’s behaving differently because of my internal shifts. WOW.

The final example involves someone who is always right. This person would perpetually shut down my ideas and over time I learned to stay quiet. I don’t recommend this by the way. After a session around this issue with my mentor something changed. Suddenly it’s, “Tonia,what do you think?” or “I want to know your thoughts about this.” Or (my favorite), “You know what? You’re right, that’s a good idea.”

How do we explain my internal shifts affecting others' behaviors? Isn't that fascinating?

Here's client story: By session 3 she reported she was no longer drinking (a bottle almost every night). Despite stressful days she didn't want wine anymore. Her account was a very similar experience to my spending behavior that it was just gone!

She also started walking regularly, joining a group of women every day. Previously she was depressed and isolating herself. It’s evidence of another glimmer of how powerful these techniques are at changing behaviors.

We change on the inside, which changes our thinking, which changes our feeling, which changes our state, which changes our behavior. That’s how we get new results.

We must turn thinking into doing. We can't think ourselves fit, healthy, or abundant. We must DO those things, or do behaviors that will result in those things.

Shifting on the inside means we start being willing to be responsible for our thoughts, feelings, states, behaviors, and results.

I’m so moved by how effective this new change work is that I reached out to the creator of the work to ask to start the process to become one of his trainers.

He wrote back and said, “Tonia, please consider yourself officially one of my trainers.” He encouraged me to stop thinking about it and just do it.

We need to turn thinking into doing.

If you’re having trouble doing that, lime you’re stuck in a rut, or bumping up against something, or maybe being held back by something, I can help - I’d be honoured and happy to help you SHIFT inside so you can shift your world on the outside. Learn more at coach.toniawinchester.com/shift